Keep'n It Real and Prayer.

I spent many years doing my own thing, following my own agenda and turning my back to God. He was always in the back of my mind, the seed was in my heart, but it had yet to flourish. It wasn't until the last handful of years that the seed really started to blossom and I got cozy with the Lord. Nobody wants to be a "jerk for Jesus." The schmuck that crams their faith down others' throats, effectively alienating the individual and shutting down any chance you truly had to show them what Christianity really means. But man, day after day I run into people and think "you are missing out." That being said, I am pledging to be more transparent. Take it or leave it, no judgment is meant by it. These are my thoughts, struggles and minor epiphanies. 

Prayer has always been a bit of a stumbling block for me. I use to worry that my words weren't eloquent enough, or I rambled, or that I even bored God. I also have a tendency to get sidetracked mid-thought. My stomach will grumble and I will think "what's for dinner," "have I changed the laundry" or "did I close the garage door?" I'm like a pigeon distracted by a drifting plastic bag. The funny thing is, there are no secrets with God. He knows what's in our heart, or what is running through our mind, before we are even able to piece it together ourselves. Why did I spend so much time worrying how He would receive my words? There are no pretenses, no need to impress with sentence structure or break out the thesaurus. No need to make small talk or catch him up on the background; He is right there with us all day, every day- fully caught up on the story line. It has been so liberating to "check in" with Him while in the car, while waiting in line at the DMV or when we get the oh-so-coveted quiet moment to ourselves. 

As for praying in front of others, I am still a 15 year old girl sweating profusely and dizzy, about to get up in front of the class and give a report on "The Effects of Minerals on Plant Growth." Baby steps :-)