Why?

Whenever I mention moving (especially to where we are thinking) people always ask "why?" with a surprised look. This catches me off guard because 1) I don't find there to be anything particularly spectacular about where we live and 2) I find it to be a prying question (kind of right up there with "are you pregnant?") I scramble for an answer that will please the family member/friend/acquaintance. Stupid I know, why should I care? But I've never been accused of seeking out confrontation. It has, however, caused me to search my soul a little for an answer. Not a cute, neatly packaged explanation for others, but a raw answer to rest my head on at night. I'm in my mid 20's and everything I have EVER done has been safe and well planned. While my friends traveled the world, moved away and did things simply for fun I was busy working on my "master plan." I worked full time through college at jobs I hated- I gritted my teeth and looked towards my goal. When I finished my degree I found myself no further ahead and unclear where to go next. We bought, remodeled and sold two homes. On the other hand, our married friends are settling down and having kids. Something we would love to do, but doesn't seem to be it the cards for us. We are left in a weird middle ground, unable to find our place. I don't regret a thing; I am married to my best friend. We were high school sweethearts and marrying Husband, despite opposition from everywhere we turned, was the smartest thing I ever did. He has been my rock this year as everything else went awry. So here it is: we are moving because we want to. Moving because we are ready to find a place that is only ours and can build our own memories, plant our roots and flourish. We are moving because we want to spend more time outside doing the things we love instead of stuck at work in an urban jungle. We are moving because in a place like this you inevitably get sucked into keeping up with the Joneses. We are moving because we want our children, should we be blessed with any, to be able to drink in fresh air and run free like we did when we were small. We are moving because we can and don't want to look back with any regrets.

I feel like somewhere along the way I lost my spirit. I remember the girl I use to be. The girl that got dirty, built forts and wanted to be a pioneer. The girl with messy blond curls pushed behind her ears and toes frozen like popsicles because she was having too much fun in the snow to go inside. I miss her and intend to hut that chick down. 

-M